is jus getting worst..

ok....i mus say once again...im going to fall inside emo-in period very soon..no matter wad..is be hard..too hard..i seirously aint taking it easy...anytime i may fall anytime i may jus land crazy...is one of the worst i will ever get..frenz aint getting better...poly i meant..and everyday mon-fri is jus lyk..im a zombie walking around in skl..i dun feel like ME...hard..wasted..emotionally disturbed...i dunno..i cant complain..even if i haf her right beside me, will she be able to hear wad im going to tell her..? will she be able to take it??... i bet she wouldnt cause she aint mine..neither it willl be any sooner..i dunno unless miracle happens...and well finally i found the reason i didn go after her..i scare i might hurt her..i scare i wouldnt be providing her all the best tt i could gif..i scare.....im realli scare...this is the first time Joseph feel real scare of hurting ppl..yes..after today fight that my poly frenx got into, it was a bloody one..and my frenx needed stiches...bad real bad..i mean of course i got see worst..tt person die on the spot i got see before..but well THIS is my FRENX...and i cant react to help him..i jus stood there..and tries to hide at a side...stun arent u? well is been hard..i dun wish to fight after so long..is been at least 10years after my fierceful joseph faded away....today im jus a bystander..oh well that is enouf..of course i gotta choose myself..i wonder if the decision will be rite..i ponder i wonders...i jus couldnt get myself back to the right track...hard....=[