boring...

well i nvr knew tt life will be tt boring..afterall yes im stressed out..and i didn realise it could be tt boring..u noe fri-no skl, sat-stay at home went out for running and abit of basketball although i didn really play and sun-early morning haf my driving lessons and the rest of the day at home..oh well no entertainment at all=x mood recently got better, i think partially i cooled myself off from thinking and resting my brain..i hope this will gif me an extra edge..cause i dun wanna let ppl see me go bonkers..when tt does..hmm i guess there's oni a few ppl on earth can makes me normal again=[ haha..oh well i realise some of my frenx are getting more lucky as they move on nearing their aims and stuffs, good! as for me i still haf to wait..or lyk huii haf told me..mayb the chance is for me to grab but i didn grabbed it..and in the end wasted it.. anyway my lappy where are u?? come back to me=[ now im using a miserable desktop..so although u see me online but i wont chat wif u all tt often anything pls sms me/call me i will pick up and chat wif u all=] cya all soon!!

is jus getting worst..

ok....i mus say once again...im going to fall inside emo-in period very soon..no matter wad..is be hard..too hard..i seirously aint taking it easy...anytime i may fall anytime i may jus land crazy...is one of the worst i will ever get..frenz aint getting better...poly i meant..and everyday mon-fri is jus lyk..im a zombie walking around in skl..i dun feel like ME...hard..wasted..emotionally disturbed...i dunno..i cant complain..even if i haf her right beside me, will she be able to hear wad im going to tell her..? will she be able to take it??... i bet she wouldnt cause she aint mine..neither it willl be any sooner..i dunno unless miracle happens...and well finally i found the reason i didn go after her..i scare i might hurt her..i scare i wouldnt be providing her all the best tt i could gif..i scare.....im realli scare...this is the first time Joseph feel real scare of hurting ppl..yes..after today fight that my poly frenx got into, it was a bloody one..and my frenx needed stiches...bad real bad..i mean of course i got see worst..tt person die on the spot i got see before..but well THIS is my FRENX...and i cant react to help him..i jus stood there..and tries to hide at a side...stun arent u? well is been hard..i dun wish to fight after so long..is been at least 10years after my fierceful joseph faded away....today im jus a bystander..oh well that is enouf..of course i gotta choose myself..i wonder if the decision will be rite..i ponder i wonders...i jus couldnt get myself back to the right track...hard....=[

i jus need more....

i jus need more...


1) MONEY!!
2) courage
3) love....
4) True friends..although is not tt bad for now..=/
5) LUCK!!

and less....


1) Complains
2) Unhappiness..well life is not full of this...
3) Backstabbers..hmmm my poly are full of stabbing..and i kinda enjoy stabbing my poly frenx now..ops jus jk..i dun do stabbing ok...well gossip mayb got lars><
4) unluckiness....

my little cousin~~~

there u go=x my cousin..haha cute rite isnt she??? haha she haf the same bdae wif me!! 10aug!! cheers!! hahas..but seirously we 2 haf the same attitude=x OMGOMGOMG!! haha sry missed out ytd=] there'll be more picture coming up=] no worries

to or not to?

haha..yoz ppl..today went to watch iron man wif huii they all..as always it's been quite a happy trip except that im superbly tired out... due to previous day lost of slp and suha...well well..anyway ironman is quite a nice show..of course nonetheless i didn waste 10bucks on it.. i was happy=x haha!! and something did go well today, while having a short pool section, i done a jump shot today..and to my amuse it went it!! i means i do a jump short to hit no.1 and the object ball went in!! woots..it was a simple yet beautiful shot..after all is been so long since i haf been hitting jump shots and is the first time it went in!! i haf improved=x hahas..jus kidding..today at least i was muchie better than last fri.. i won huii by 3-4 and he finally found the kids playing wif me..hiak hiak..there's more to come!! haha..=x anyway jus before the movie starts, huii said a reasonable sentence to me..which haf been particular true to me as he told me..well what are u waiting for?? ppl break already and u still waiting for waD?? take ur chance and go after her..oh well..i hope i could..but...... hais dunno lars.. is like ppl jus break, i dun think she would haf the mood to haf another relationship...and on the other hand, i always lost my chance as i kept on dragging too muchie..is kinda a dilemma fot me..so to or not to?? i haf no idea..well i guess is upto heaven to decide my fate..mayb jus tt the timing is not rite?? and mayb jus tt she herself also dunno tt i like her...well jus mayb mayb..hmm i haf no idea..like wad i haf told her..mayb i shld do all my stuff well and settled down abit before i go on to a relationship..the time to settle well will be arnd june-aug..it takes time i guess..because..right on august.. i will be having exam..like wad hm haf told me..u nid motivation bro...and i find it quite true, when a gal is beside me..i felt motivated to finish my job..not pervert i means is actually jus a reaction from my brain tt kept me going=] haha..tt's all for now..take cares peeps!! i will try to update soon...=x ciao!!

jus a little picture for ya all..shes my cousin=x cute rite!! haha..

wad is the meaning of drawing circles...

many ppl asked...hey joseph! wassup with drawing circles?? isit fun?? isit something that u love to do??

oh well let me tell u the stories of drawing circles..often u see in anime and mangas..the cartoons character always shows tt the char goes to one quiet side at a corner and draw circles on the floor...is a so called "emo-in" in another words...to show that they are disappointed, stressful, emo and whatever u may name..

do not ask me why i emo for so long..drawing circles seems to be my only interest now..and i dun think it will be lifted up..unless unless "pray that u haf a change of heart, there's something only love can do..." this sentence from trademark de "only love" comes true..otherwise..i dun think.........i will be normal in the near future..of course still i will try to keep everyone happy..i will not show any drawing circles signs, i haf make a promise to myself that i mus make my frenx arnd me very happy..cheerful and of course..the oni treat they can return to me is a smile of acknowledgement.. tt will gif me an accomplishment..

whether or not..please do not worries for me..as i think i know what i'm doing now?? and haha there's no way she would look into this post..and of course she herself oso dunno wad happening at the other end..most importantly i need all ur help to keep this little secret!! Although it may not comes true, i hope still u all keep the secret for me... thanks all!! i shall be off here...meanwhile take cares!! is been so dangerous wif the flu virus arnd..i haf been infected and recover too=x XD take caires arhs!!

to be a better man=x

hahas..jus crapping alrite..been back to myself since i emo for quite a long time..and i kinda got alot of stresses for the past months..now is better.. thanks everyone who tries to cheer me up..and i realli appreciate all ur help..realli..anyway well is ok ba..i will send ya my kiss =x LOL jus jk..ahahaha..today went out to see movie wif my sec. skl de frenx..it was like kinda fun but got tired in the end..sometimes i wonder i haf been too attached to somethings..oh well at least i didn complain muchie bout it?? i hope so..i dun wish to..haf been reading ppl blogs.. i mean archive..got to see some posts regarding bout me..I just wanna say that..i dun think im tt great guy who everybody thinks is..i jus a normal guy but i gif simple advice..anyway gotta go..bye cya!